Unrequited
by ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Dick finally chooses to tell Wally how he feels. It hurts more than he expected.


**I decided that I needed more angst in my life so some unrequited BirdFlash came roaring its ugly head. No warnings needed other than sadness and Dick angst.**

* * *

Dick is fifteen when he falls for the first time. Young and cocky and so _naive_ that it's a wonder it had not happened sooner. He had become comfortable in is role. He was confident in his abilities as Batman's partner and a part of the JLA. He wasn't eight anymore and helpless. He wasn't new to the role he played. It was that comfortable familiarity that would eventually lead to disaster. Dick had been beaten and shot by Two Face during one of his schemes and died twice on the operating table. He could remember laying on that cold warehouse floor, choking on his blood and unable to move. His fingers in his right hand were smashed beyond use and he could not see out of his left eye. He could clearly remember the panic in Batman's movements and he had wanted so badly to assure him that he was okay, but when he had opened his mouth, blood had poured down his chin and suddenly he was not so sure that he was.

He spent two weeks in the hospital and the last three recovering at the manor. It was a tense few weeks. Dick felt so enclosed. Like the walls were closing in on him. Bruce was silent. Dick knew he was avoiding him. He had been afraid. Even behind the cowl, Dick had been able to see the fear on his mentor's face as he tried to stop the bleeding. The shot had left them both vulnerable.

He dreamed of that damned bat. He could hear it whistling down on him again and again and he would wake up in the dead of night unable to breathe and unable to scream. He was still recovering when Bruce came home from a night on patrol with a new boy at his side. The boy is scrawny but tall with strong looking hands and eyes that are much too hard for a thirteen year old. He had looked at Dick with a guarded expression and Dick felt his entire word tilt. Even with Bruce saying nothing, Dick knew. He could see it in the firm line of Bruce's mouth and the wariness in the brat's eyes.

A new Robin.

"You're replacing me." It was not a question.

Dick is fifteen years old and everything is changing. Alfred tried to keep him as comfortable as possible but Dick could barely stand to be in the same house as Bruce or his replacement. Bruce's logic had been skewered and terrible. He had taken Dick's name and life and casually given it to this new kid who was always looking at Dick with those sea foam eyes of his. He hadn't been on missions. He was banned from the cave and Wally was so busy with Artemis and civilian life, Dick was certain he would never see him again. The brat-Jason seemed on edge. At first he had clung to Batman's side, unwilling to give up what he was offered. He was still in training and would not see the street for at least five months. He was no doubt worried about his place in Batman's life. Dick was there and at any point, Batman could return to him, but the man refused and Dick felt his heart break each time the man turned away.

Bruce was ignoring him, Wally was too busy for him and Dick felt so alone. He could always turn to Wally. Whenever he and Bruce fought, it was Wally who was there to keep him level. Wally...even thinking about the older boy had Dick's palms sweating. He hadn't bothered reaching out to Wally because of his sweaty palms...and the warmth in his cheeks and the way his heart always seemed to skip a beat when Wally would smile at him. He was in love with his best friend and that on top of everything else felt like it was too much to handle.

Then, things began to change. Jason soon began to reach out to Dick. The original Robin was openly surprised when the boy had come to his room one evening. They had barely spoke and whenever Dick had made an attempt to do so, the younger boy would turn beet red and find an excuse to leave. He looked sweaty as if he had been training and despite his own anger towards Bruce, it cooled as he looked at the boy.

"Hi," He greeted with an awkward wave. "What's up?"

He watched as the boy shifted from his left to right foot. "You're good at math, right?" He spat out and Dick blinked. He settled against his pillows, the plush softness a comfort for him.

"Umm, yes...why?" He asked and Jason flushed even more deeply if it were possible. For a moment Dick didn't think he would answer him, but finally the kid seemed to come back to himself and his back straightened.

"I have a few questions in my school book and I'm having trouble...can you help me with them?" His voice was sullen, but even then Dick could catch the obvious hopefulness in his tone, even if the kid could barely meet his eyes. It was a peace offering and Dick latched onto it like a drowning man. It was the beginning of a tentative friendship. Their relationship was hard to label. Something akin to brotherhood even though Jason did not seem interested in calling him one. Dick helped Jason with his math and in turn, Jason helped Dick with his English. It was an odd setup, Jason constantly seeking Dick out and Dick quick to accept him.

Things were broken, but they could still be fixed.

* * *

It had taken weeks, but Wally had finally managed to come over and visit. Seeing him had Dick nearly forgetting everything that had upset him in the first place. They spent the day in Dicks' bedroom, just talking. It was as if nothing had changed. Being around Wally...well, Dick had never been able to really name what he felt for the older boy. When Wally and Artemis started dating Dick had figured that any chance he had was lost. Wally was straight. Wally flirted with girls like it was going out of style. Yet, Wally also held his hand and gave him the warmest hugs.

Bruce was out in the office, having gone in even though it was a Sunday. Alfred was enjoying the weather and had gone off on one of his mysterious adventures. This left Jason and Dick to the house, but Jason had made himself scarce when he had seen Wally. It had been odd. One moment he stood at Dick's bedroom door with an apple in his hand and a slight grin on his face then he spotted Wally over his shoulder, lounging on Dick's bed.

The grin faded. "Jason?" Dick finally spoke up, staring at the boy. Jason blinked, moving forward and pushing the apple into Dick's hand.

"Here." He muttered before scrambling down the hall, leaving Dick bewildered as he held the apple. He looked back to Wally who shrugged, flashing him that smile that always had Dick feeling warm and jittery. He closed the door and set the apple down and walked over to his desk, perching on top of it and glancing back towards his friend.

"That Jason?" Wally asked and Dick nodded, leaning against the desk with an air of casualness.

"Yeah...I don't know what that was about." He shrugged and the older boy hummed, glancing towards the ceiling. A silence fell over them and Dick was once again bothered by it. Silences between them used to be so rare and when it did occur, it was comforting, now it felt forced, like neither boy no longer knew how to speak to each other. Finally, Wally sighed, looking back to Dick.

"You mentioned on the phone that there was something you wanted to talk to me about" Wally reminded the younger boy who suddenly flushed pink at the mention. He shifted from his left to right foot, suddenly finding himself unable to speak. Wally watched him curiously, green eyes wide with question. Here was his chance. Dick had wanted to tell Wally...he wanted to tell Wally the truth. That he thought he might be in love with him and that he could think of little else but the speedster. It was the perfect opportunity. Wally was here. There was no Artemis, no team. For once it was just the two of them.

"I...never mind...it wasn't important." Dick finally spoke up. Wally sat up, red hair mused as he frowned at the boy.

"It sounded like something on the phone." He replied and Dick quickly shook his head. Whatever he had wanted to say to Wally had died as soon as he had seen the older boy.

"No. Just forget it." He shook his head and Wally loved to his feet, moving towards Dick with an openly confused look on his face. He reached for the boy's arm and Dick pulled away, not daring to look at him. Wally moved his hands to hold onto Dick's waist.

"Hey," He spoke up, brows furrowing in concern. "Come on Dick. Talk to me. What's up?" Dick shifted, his palms feeling sweaty. Wally continued to look at him, green eyes intently focused on him.

"It's nothing." Dick spoke quickly.

"Dick-"

"Really Walls, I'm fine." The younger boy continued to try to placate his friend. Wally was not about to back down though. He reached for the younger boy's shoulder, keeping him in place.

"You're obviously upset about something. Come on, we're best friends aren't we?" Wally asked, openly curious.

"Yeah, but Wally-"

"So talk to me, Rob." The elder cut him off. He was confused and frustrated, trying to understand why Dick was pushing him away. Dick's face scrunched up, obviously distressed. Wally opened his mouth to speak again. "Dick-" Then, there was a mouth pressing against his own. He blinked in shock, hands going lax on Dick's shoulders. After a quick moment, the younger boy pulled back, blue eyes practically glowing.

"I love you." Dick stated in a rush. "Like, _**really**_ love you. Not like a bromance kind of love, but like actual _**romantic**_ love. Like, I want to hold your hand and kiss you and go on dates to crappy movies. I'm in love with you. I think I've been for a long time now." Dick's hands moved to lightly hold Wally's face, cupping his cheeks and smiling up at him. Wally blinked again, dazed. The younger boy moved to kiss Wally again but the red head pulled back, almost stumbling over his own feet. Dick stared after him, his smile slowly slipping away and his hands dropping to his side.

"Wally?" The boy tentatively spoke up. Wally took another step back, eyes clenching shut. He didn't know what to do or say. Dick had just thrown him through a loop. His whole understanding of their friendship suddenly felt as if it had been tossed away. "Wally-" Dick tried to speak up again, taking a step towards the older boy. Wally moved back again, hands shooting up as if to shield himself from Dick.

"Don't!" He managed to force out, voice harsher than he had intended. Dick stilled, face falling slightly. He shifted on his feet, hands pulling up towards his chest in a nervous, protective gesture. Wally could not even bring himself to look at him. "I need to...I need to go." The older boy shook his head, moving towards the door.

"Walls, please don't-" Dick had rushed forward to touch his friend, but the older boy jerked away, nearly flinching. Dick moved back, watching as his best friend practically fled the room. He stared at the empty doorway, eyes stinging and cheeks feeling overly hot. He took a shaky breath, trembling hands pressed against his chest. He swore he could feel his heart shuddering under his skin. He could feel it breaking.

Down the hall, Jason watched as Wally West practically used his powers to speed out of the manor. He stood at his door, arms crossed and expression a mix between satisfaction and anger. He glanced down the hall towards Dick's room. The door was open. He couldn't hear anything. Slowly, he moved down the hall to approach it when it slid shut, the latch clicking. Jason stood, staring at the door in disappointment.

* * *

Dick did not speak of it to Jason. Or Bruce. Definitely not Bruce. Not that the man would have asked. It would have ruined his whole avoid Dick thing he had going on. It took another week for Wally to how up again. When Alfred greeted him at the door it was with the same friendly politeness as ever. Dick must have not told him what happened. "Master Dick is in his room." Alfred motioned for Wally to follow him. The man was always so helpful.

"That's alright Alfred, I can find it." Wally assured the man who nodded at this, stepping back.

"Very well," He replied. "And do feel free to stay for supper if you wish." He left Wally to his own devices and the boy made the slow trek up the stairs, palms sweating. When he found Dick's door he hesitated, hand lifted to knock. He struggled for half a second, feeling like he was being watched before finally knocking twice. He listened as Dick moved on the other side of the room, before approaching to door and opening it. He peeked his head out, hair a mess and shirt baggy. Wally shifted from his left to right foot, expression torn between anxious and sheepish.

"Hey." He finally spoke up, voice barely audible. Dick blinked. His room was a mess and he probably looked like shit.

"Hi." He rubbed his arm absently, wondering why he was suddenly so uncomfortable, and in front of Wally no less. He was never uncomfortable in front of Wally. What had changed? Wally sighed, eyes closing and a frown appearing on his normally relaxed face.

"We need to talk." He finally said and Dick nodded, stepping back to let Wally in his room. The boy hesitated a second, hands tense at his side before finally walking forward passed Dick into the bedroom. Dick closed the door behind them. Wally stood, arms crossed as he stared at the window. Dick watched him silently, waiting for the boy to speak up. Wally sighed, head hanging and feet shuffling. He turned to face Dick.

"I'm straight, Dick." Wally replied, eyes fixed on his friend. "I've always been straight." Dick nodded at this, still tense. It was obvious Wally was straight. Obvious how he looked at girls and how he now looked at Artemis. As if she was the world. _His_ world. As if he no longer had room for Dick in this life he was building. Outside of being a hero, outside of what they once were.

"I know." Dick's voice dropped bit, looking away from the older boy. In the past, Wally would have reached out to reassure him. Before Dick had confessed, Wally would have had no qualms with physical affection. Now, it seemed that he could not longer bring himself to touch Dick. The look on Dick's face however still left Wally feeling dirty and wrong. He _loved_ Dick. Just not in that way.

"That doesn't meant I don't want to be your friend." He tried to reassure the younger boy. Dick nodded again, offering him a tight smile that did not reach his eyes. Friend. What had happened to best friends? Wally reached out towards Dick and seemed to hesitate. Finally, he settled his hand awkwardly on Dick's shoulder in a pat. It was as awkward and closed off as ever. As if touching Dick was now dirty and forced. Dick's throat ached at this, staring at the older boy. It was as if something delicate and beautiful between them had been broken.

"I have to get back home now." Wally spoke up again, the awkwardness seeming to crush them both. Dick nodded, thin lipped and not bothering to look at his friend. "I'll call you later, okay?" He offered and Dick forced a weak smile. He was a good actor. He could pretend.

"Yeah, okay." He managed, hoping that despite this bump in the road, that things would not change between them. Wally backed out of the room, offering a final half hearted wav before once again dashing away like Dick was diseased or something. Dick stared after him, throat dry and eyes stinging. He did not notice Jason watching from the open door of his room, watching Dick with bright eyes and a torn expression on his face.

First love always did hurt didn't they?


End file.
